Mediation is a form of dispute resolution, the mediator being an impartial facilitator in bringing parties together to reach a mutually acceptable agreement. The role of the mediator is a neutral one, who does not take sides, through listening to both parties to discuss issues, and develop options in an informal and confidential environment.
The parties take part in the decision making process and have an opportunity to voice their concerns through negotiation. In family mediation the children are the priority. The outcomes are mutually agreed concerns, clarification of issues, and consideration of each other’s views. We form co-parenting agreements, house rule agreements, parenting agreement and a management system. We look at holiday conflicts and practices of visitation.
Mediation is a process. It works best when the parties’ emotions have eased enough that they can begin to negotiate. The participants resolve problems, let go their sense of grievance, and mend broken relationships. Success lies partly in the parties’ readiness and willingness to have the conflict end.
Mediation gives people the chance to air their wounds. Intense conflict can generate misunderstanding and distrust. When the parties’ are able to talk directly these misunderstandings often disappear. Even if a mediated agreement does not end a conflict, it can protect the parties from further friction and misunderstandings so that the conflict can fade away.
The process begins with and opening statement. Each person takes a turn speaking about anything relevant to the situation. Then there is a time for exchange of views, explaining why they are upset. The mediator makes sure each person has equal time, safeguarding this exchange. This is a time to listen for what matters to people and for possible areas of agreement.
Separate meetings are sometimes necessary to address behaviour and to help think through options. Discussion then about moving toward the future, what happens now? An agenda is agreed upon and which issues need resolution.
Working through each issue, adjusting and testing alternatives to create a workable, mutually satisfactory solution. When an agreeable conclusion is arrived upon the mediator writes up an agreement containing decisions agreed upon and each sign this. After a review of what has been accomplished and a follow up time can be determined.
