Couples who are starting out or are in long term relationships that may be having difficulties in their relationship due to conflicts and confusion with being in a stepfamily. We work on couple strength, reducing the potential impact of relationship breakdown. Unmet expectation can have a enormous impact on relationships when two people come together about how things could or should be. We will look at the development process of a couple’s relationship, and why there may be stumbling blocks to where you find yourselves.
We will work on creating goals toward rebuilding your relationship, processing feelings, and communication from a more realistic, unified and unrestricted perspective and increase the ability to deal with the challenges that arise before they become more intractable.
Couples and Relationship Counseling
The major aim of therapy is increasing your knowledge about yourself, your partner and others’ and the patterns of interaction between you. Gaining knowledge to break ineffective patterns and develop better one.
This is something we do together:
- Gaining clarity around the vision you have for your life
- The kind of partner you aspire to be
- What you would like to start doing and what you would like to stop doing
- What is blocking you from having the relationships you believe you can achieve
This all takes time and effort. Patterns of interacting that are not serving you well and learning new ways take time, effort and practice, and of course a genuine willingness to do so.
The tradeoffs will take time to:
- Create a relationship that flourishes
- Time to be together
- Time to be with family
- Time to play
- Time to nurture, relax, hang out and plan
This will be a tradeoff with other areas of your life, personal and professional.
There will be more emotional comfort, communicating without conflict, resentment or withdrawal. Becoming curious about your partner and your relationship and how it can grow and develop to a greater level.
This is not about short-term gratification, but the long-term goal of creating a satisfying and dynamic relationship, one of interdependence. The effort you are willing to put into this to gain the sustained improvement to create the relationship based on trust, honesty and respect.
I will ask you to prepare for our sessions to:
- Reflect on your objectives for therapy
- What your future objectives are for your relationship
- What is your attitude for change
- How you both think about a problem even though it may be different
- Consider your partner and how they are not just yourself
Its about how prepared are you to make personal changes rather than trying to change your partner. That’s why a vision for yourself and your relationship is so important. When times are tough, you can reflect on what the vision is and what is necessary to achieve it.
‘Its not what you say, its what they hear’
Good communication is much more difficult than most people want to believe. Effective negotiation is even harder.
- Can you listen to your partner and respect their views even if they are different to your own?
- Can you remain non-judgmental?
- Can you empathise with your partner’s thoughts and emotions?
- Can you inquire to understand better?
- Can you listen to understand rather than respond?
Communication is tough! But it is at the heart and the start of healthy relationships. A relationship takes two people, not just you and your needs but your mutual needs, wants and desires.
Trust, Honesty and Respect
